• Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security. Provide a picture of your batterer if possible.
• Inform your children's school, daycare, etc., about who has permission to pick-up your children.
• Arrange to have an answering machine, caller ID, or a trusted friend or relative screen your calls if possible. (Advocates at Arising Hope are available to assist you with this)
• Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus or train and walk with you until you are safely on your way.
• Use a variety of routes to go home by if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home (i.e. in your car, or the bus, etc.)
Your Safety And Emotional Health
• If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
• If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
• Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs. Read books, articles, and poems to help you feel stronger.
• Decide who you can call to talk to freely and openly, and who will give you the support you need.
• Plan to attend a women's and/or victim's support group to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.
For Teens In A Violent Dating Relationship
• Decide which friend, teacher, relative or police officer you can tell.
• Call our domestic violence hot line. We can help teens too.
• Get information about restraining orders from your local police or court, or Project Safeguard.
• Ask can assist you in finding a teen relationship support group. It will help you feel less alone as you learn about yourself and your relationship.
What you need to take when you leave. (Check List )
Children's birth certificates
Your birth certificate
Social Security Card
Money and/or credit cards
Your restraining order
Lease, rental agreement, house deed
Car registration & insurance papers
Medical records for you & your children
Work permits/green cards/VISA
Divorce papers/ Custody papers
House & car keys
Pictures of you, your children, your abuser
Children's small toys
Change of clothes for you and your children
SELF-VIOLENCE, SELF-HARM AND SELF-INJURY
Many individuals who are victims of domestic violence harm themselves in an attempt to cope with the trauma of the abusive, overwhelming and distressing situation they find themselves in. Examples of self harm are cutting, branding, burning, picking at the skin/scabs, hair pulling and repeatedly hitting yourself. Although this behavior can be extremely dangerous it is NOT usually a suicide attempt. Rather it is an attempt to express and sooth the emotional hurt and pain the victim is feeling. Generally, individuals who self-harm are in an environment or have been in an environment where they were not allowed to express their pain in healthy ways. Self-harm allows the victim to express what they are feeling without words; giving them a false sense of control and temporarily relieves the feelings of stress and anxiety. Some alternatives to self-harm are: getting involved in a sport (e.g. running, aerobics, and weightlifting), wear an elastic rubber band on your wrist and snapping it, hold an ice cube on your hand, arms and legs, practice deep breathing and/or drawing on your body with a red marker. These are only some suggestions to minimize damage and further soft tissue injuries. It is very important that you seek help immediately. You can live a life free from ALL violence and our staff can assist you in getting the help and treatment you need, please contact us today!!!
For immediate assistance call our 24 hour phone line 303-280-3180